Walz Unleashed; A Modest Psychologic Study of Little Timmy

I paid little attention to Tim Walz prior to the epidemic; he seemed a typical buffoonish politician.  During the epidemic I came to despise him for his constant lying, failure to take responsibility for his actions, the relentless terror campaign against all Minnesotans, his complete avoidance of democratic process in regard to epidemic measures because, God forbid, he might actually have to listen to and work with Republicans, and most of all, truly, truly, most of all, because of the damage he did to so many people, particularly children and minorities, in his feckless and futile exercise of power.  My anger found frequent outlet in my posts, I was self-indulgent in that regard, but I meant every word of it.  He is indeed the Incompetent Blowhard and whatever little I might do to undermine and correct his actions was important.

But my anger perhaps blinded me to understanding the essential character of the man.  I am often self-indulgent, but one approach I try not to indulge in is amateur psychoanalysis, although I do have a degree in psychology, a number of years working as a counselor in drug and alcohol and mental health treatment programs, extensive reading in psychology and most importantly, a long life of observation of human behavior and motivations.  So without any real trepidation, although a modicum of distaste for the subject, I forced myself over the last days to think more neutrally about our beloved, folksy, charming, aw-shucks centrist guy of a Governor.  And indeed, as usual, I was rewarded with renewed insight, which of course, I am delighted to share with you.

What spurred this insight was observing the IB as he learned he was the VP pick and gave his first presentations to the nation.  Unfortunately there will be now be fewer of these opportunities for revelation of the Governor’s innate character, as his first forays included an audience less likely to be raptly spellbound by his dazzling, ceaseless verbiage than say, the Minneapolis Star Tribune or any television station in the Twin Cities, all of which have dutifully taken the Governor at his word, his many, many words, without question.  It appears, however, that the Governor may have a slight character flaw of lying constantly, and some in the national press appear to have taken the unpleasant tack of pointing out those lies.  And of course, a national campaign does bring a little more scrutiny than one in the backwater of Minnesota.  So the Harris camp immediately put the Governor under wraps for fear of further fabrications that might derail the progressive lovefest.

Ahhh, but the seeds had already been planted for my burst of insight.  Our Governor, first and foremost loves adulation and praise.  He must be acknowledged, be recognized, be loved.  And there he was, introduced to an adoring crowd, beaming with childish delight, the spittle flying as he giddily spoke.  But lo, beware the wages of hubris.  His tongue was loosened, as it always is, but the governor to the Governor’s inestimable flow was nowhere to be found, when most needed.  He made the curious claim that he had actually been to war, served in Iraq.  It seems that truth be told, although certainly not by the IB, he had done no such thing.  Let us have some sympathy for Little Timmy, for he so wants to be loved, that he cannot help himself, and existing in his natural, unadorned state as a personage less than worthy of veneration, should he really be castigated for slight embellishments which may assist his audience in its apprehension of his illustriousness.

Now I cannot pretend to understand the origin of this ultimate huckster’s need for said adoration–perhaps he felt ignored as a child, perhaps others too accurately perceived the somewhat unpleasant aspects of his native character.  And thus he embarked on a life-long voyage to fictitiously create a new Tim Walz, a being clothed in wondrous qualities, which all could rightly revere.  A family man, a veteran, a devoted public servant, a beloved coach and teacher to idolizing students.  No more of that thin-skinned, angry, responsibility-denying little man would the citizenry see.  Alas for poor widdle Timmy, truth always, almost always, will out, even when buried deep ‘neath a blizzard of, shall we say, falsehoods, misleading statements, dare we mention lies.  And that innate character has poked out at times in Minnesota, but as I said, a truly sympathetic and understanding local press, not wishing to further exacerbate whatever childhood trauma led to this proclivity for prevarication, kindly aided the IB in keeping it hidden from those who might not be so sympathetic, i.e., the voters of our fair state.

Now I fear for the Governor’s mental health, as the childhood trauma of being shunned and ridiculed (imagine yourself saddled with the appellation of Tampon Timmy) is re-awakened.  Unfortunately, Mr. Walz may have trouble finding a place for the much-needed and well-deserved therapy to aid him should his well-being take a turn down, as his actions during the epidemic and thereafter have created a mental health crisis among a large percent of the population of Minnesota, overwhelming our treatment resources.  But I confident that a grateful nation would be delighted to pay for an extended stay at facilities in say, Siberia, deepest Congo Republic, perhaps Venezuela, maybe in the Uighur province of China.

Thus is my tale told, and my most fervent wish is that I have aided each of you dear readers in your own attainment of enlightment and empathy regarding our Governor’s characterological defects.